This is for that one who has been hitting the floor with your knees and crying out to God. There is something on your heart that you just need to have an answer. You need a miracle. You have done everything you know to do. You have prayed, believed, tithed, and served, but you still feel like your prayers have fallen on deaf ears.

You are walking in the dark and all you need is a flicker of light to see the next step. This is the time that your faith must stand strong in the heat of the battle. Dig your heels in and declare that you will never give up! You will keep believing, hoping, praying, praising and walking in faith until you see the victory. Be steadfast in prayer and stand on God’s word. It is your greatest weapon and know that God is not shaken. He knows what is going on and He is working behind the scenes. His timing is always perfect. It shall surely come to pass.

This is the turning point and determines the outcome of your situation. The battle is raging all around you and you must choose to trust God, EVEN IF things don’t turn out like you had planned. The cancer is still there. The treatment hasn’t worked, but you have a word from God. You must stand on his promises and speak them over your situation. Your child hasn’t come home, your spouse has left, the rent money is due and the check hasn’t arrived yet.

No matter what you are going through, God is still able. Stand on His word and believe that He is working all things together for your good. He is closer than your next breath. He has never left your side and He never will. He will bring you safely through. Slip your hand in His nail scarred hand, and He will lead you ever so gently. You are not alone and He is working behind the scenes in the midst of all that concerns you.

I love you guys!
Brenda

Good Morning Beautiful Survivors!

There’s a lot of hate going around these days! All you have to do is to read the morning newspaper or turn on the news for just a few minutes to realize it. People are lashing out at everyone they can from every direction. I can’t stand to listen to it, because it just brings my spirit down. It’s one thing to be informed of what is happening in the world to an extent, but quite another to allow it to permeate into our own thoughts. Whether we realize it or not, it is damaging to our health, emotions and spirit. I refuse to allow such garbage to invade my mind.

As much talk of hate we hear these days, there is still much talk of love. Love can be a very complicated word if we don’t look at it right. It’s easy to confuse love with emotions. A good example of this is that 15 year old boy with his first crush. He is out with the cutest girl in town and he gives her his ring and he tells her he loves her, on their first date!! That’s so cute, or so it seems, but these young people have a lot to learn about the true definition of love. Give them ten or fifteen years down the road and see if they still feel that way. Love is going out at 3 am to get Tylenol for a teething baby, and walking the floors at night to soothe them and still getting up at 6 am to go to work. Love is putting up with those screaming, and sometimes, defiant teenagers and their crazy music, when you’d like to strangle them. (Not really) But, I’m sure that every honest parent must admit that they have thought about it at least once in their life. Love is taking care of your spouse when they are suffering with Alzheimer’s, bringing them roses and spending time with them, even when they don’t know who you are. Yes, love is a powerful word! One not to be taken lightly!

Even though true love is wonderful, there is another kind of love that cannot compare to any other type of love. It is God’s love. It will go on forever, no matter what! Several years ago, I had a revelation of just how powerful God’s love really is. I had been going through a rough time and I was extremely grouchy. I was angry and I remember how separated from God that I felt. The next morning, as I lay in my bed, talking to God, I said, “Lord, I’ve really blown it this time! I suppose things could never be the same between us again. I don’t deserve your love.” And, just so plain, I heard God say to me, “My ardor never cools.” I didn’t even know what ardor meant, so it had to be him! I looked it up. I was amazed at what I saw. Ardor is passion. Fiery love, deep emotion. Wow!! I realized that no matter what I ever did, God still loved me the same as before. I could not get away from his furious love!! I may have left him for a minute, but he certainly did not leave me! His love never fails!

Through Him, we live and breathe and have our being. He is the life blood that compels us on. He is our life and source of everything that we are and will ever hope to be!

What’s really neat is that God gives us his Agape love. This Agape love is the kind of love that is unselfish. It’s the kind of love that can bear up against all odds; even when nothing seems to be going our way at the moment. Agape love is a powerful love. It is God’s own love that covers everything. With Agape love, you are no longer led by your feelings. No weapon that is formed against you can penetrate this beautiful shield that God places around you. And the neatest thing of all is that the more you love others, the more God loves you!! You can’t lose!

Love never fails!

I love you guys!
Brenda

I will never forget hearing those words, “YOU HAVE CANCER!” What a shock! I was minding my own business, enjoying my life, when out of the blue, cancer rudely invaded my life. It’s everyone’s worst nightmare! It’s the three words no one ever wants to hear!

That first year was exhausting in every way. I had to go through many pre-op tests, including an EKG and a chest x-ray and numerous rounds of blood work before a seven hour operation to have my entire thyroid removed. A week later, I returned back to the doctor to hear the surgical pathology report. The cancer had spread into my lymph nodes. I was drained physically and emotionally from the surgery, but the next step was that I had to go on the low iodine diet to prepare me for the radioactive iodine treatment, After the treatment, I had to be isolated from my family for two weeks to prevent anyone from coming into contact with the radiation. I was extremely sick from the treatment. It was the weakest time of my life, and I was isolated from all friends and family, and it was Christmas time! After going through the treatment, I had to have my thyroid medication adjusted and readjusted numerous times and go back to the endocrinologist and oncologist every few months to make sure that the cancer was not returning. It was an arduous journey. My doctor told me that it usually takes a good year to recuperate from just the surgery, alone. As I look back, I will never know how I got through that first year, except by the hand of God. The famous Footprints poem came alive to me during that time and had more meaning than ever. I realized that God was carrying me when I couldn’t do it in my own strength. Once I reached the first year, little did I know that I would have to be prepared for the same protocol all over again, to help prevent a cancer recurrence. Talk about tired!!! Cancer is definitely not for wimps!!!

Well….I did make it through that first year and before I knew it, I had to go through the low iodine diet all over again and go off of my thyroid meds to become totally hypothyroid. I don’t know if you have ever had any thyroid trouble or not, but I will shout it to the whole world, “You really need your thyroid medicine!” I have never been so weak and tired in my life. I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. I was exhausted, gaining weight, and my mind was fuzzy. I couldn’t see well. I was pale. My eyes were puffy and I didn’t have the energy to barely pick one foot up in front of the other one. As I was drifting through this time to be prepared for the body scan, the scriptures came alive to me. Nothing else made sense, but now I know what the bible means when it says that when we are weak, He is strong. This is so very true.

As the day arrived for the body scan, they were preparing me for another treatment. They said it wasn’t unlikely for me to have a recurrence, because of the size of the tumors, my age, and that it had spread into my lymph nodes. I am very claustrophobic, so the nurses put a towel over my eyes as I lie there still in the body scan with my arms at my sides. I could hear the body scan ticking slowly as it started at my head, and, slowly, made its way down through my entire body. This is such a sobering experience, knowing that machine had the power to tell my destiny.

Something happened to me that day that I will never forget! God met me at my lowest moment in that body scan. His presence just enveloped me. I had been through this body scan a year prior and this was an entirely different experience. I saw the brightest light that I could never describe in human words, its brilliance. It was a dazzling light that just pierced through my entire being. It was as if every scripture came alive to me and just washed over my body, mind and spirit. The love of God came over me so strong and I had never felt such peace. It was as if God did something for me in that body scan that no doctor could have ever done. From that day on, I have never been the same since. I couldn’t even talk about it without crying for quite awhile, at just the awesome presence of God, as He reached down and touched me at the weakest moment of my life. That’s just Who He is! He is always a very present help in our times of trouble. He has changed my life completely and now, I can’t wait to share this same hope with everyone that I meet. As soon as the body scan ended, I was directed to a room to wait on the results of the body scan by the nuclear medicine doctor. Not long after, the doctor pointed up to my results. He said, “This is a perfectly clean scan! There is no sign of a recurrence anywhere in your body!” I already knew this to be true because of the dazzling light that was still such a part of me. How could it have been anything else?! I am so thankful that God met me there that day. I have been cancer free ever since. Our God surely is a healer!!!

Can you relate to this? Are you tired today? Do you wonder how you will have the strength to make it one more day? Don’t worry about tomorrow. Just try to get through today. When this day is over, God will give you a fresh new supply of strength for the next day when you need it. He will never fail you. God promises that if you will wait upon him, he will renew your strength. When you come to that place when God is the only answer, when you are flat on your back, the only way to look is up! Sometimes, you have to get alone with God. Just you and him. He will meet you there at your deepest need. You have to get alone with him until you’re not alone anymore. He is a personal God. He loves you so much and He wants to pour his healing balm of Gilead into your deepest wounds. He is not just the God of congregations, but of the individual.

He is never too far away to hear the faintest cry. Cry out to Him today. He is closer than you think.
Can you feel your strength rising? When you are weak, He is your strength. We’re talking about a big God. He is the God Who spreads out the northern skies over empty space, and suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the water in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it. He gives orders to the morning and shows dawn its place.

This God of ours can do it! Nothing is ever too hard for Him. He is your anchor of hope. He is faithful and true to His word. He is the light in the dark and healing for the broken heart. He is life and he is light. Rest tonight, my friend, because tomorrow is a brand new day. You will wake with renewed strength! This, you can count on!!! All of his promises are Yes and Amen. He is the Glory and Lifter of your head. He can carry you until you can stand on your own once again.

I love you guys!
Brenda

Psalm 84: 5-7
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the valley of Baca (tears) they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

Good Evening Beautiful Survivors! I have a chapter in my book, titled “The Midnight Hour.” Everyone will face a time like this at some point in their life. It’s a time in your life where you feel utterly hopeless. It could be for a number of reasons; an illness, a divorce, a financial crisis, family problems, and the list goes on and on. It is a time in your life when you need a miracle, or a touch from God.

Most of us are familiar with the story in the bible of Paul and Silas. They were thrown into prison for their faith. It was about midnight and they started worshipping and praising God. The other prisoners were listening to them. SUDDENLY, there was an earthquake and their chains fell off. Not only were they set free, but all of the prisoner’s chains fell off as well.

In this life, there are many types of chains. You can be in a silent prison of your own for many reasons. One of the ways to get free from these chains is to just start worshipping God. Praise your way to the victory. Just like the other prisoners who were watching Paul and Silas, many people are watching you. When your chains fall off, theirs will too. You will all be set free.

When I was going through my cancer journey, I was in a prison of fear and depression, but God stepped in and radically interrupted my life. He set me free from the fear and depression from the cancer and he filled me with his joy. Only God can take an ugly cancer diagnosis and turn it around for good. No matter what you are going through, God is able to turn it around. He can use your brokenness, which becomes your testimony, to help someone else.

If you are going through the most difficult time in your life and you feel hopeless, lean into God. He is closer than your next breath. He loves to set people free from whatever prison they are in. Start praising him even when it seems like the hardest thing to do; even when nothing makes sense. The key is praising God before you see the miracle. Make a choice to let nothing hold you back, even in the hardest of times. Praise right smack in the heat of the battle. Psalm 22:3 declares that God dwells in the praises of his people. When you choose to worship and praise God instead of grumbling, whining and complaining, you are actually entering into his very presence. Soon, it will come natural and you will start seeing the shackles fall off. You will be able to say that our God is a good, good God. Your dungeon of prison and the chains that bind you will be transformed into a sanctuary of praise. Lift those tired hands to heaven and praise your God and watch him lift your load and break every chain.

The Midnight Hour is the end of one day, but the beginning of another! The Midnight Hour may seem dark for a time, but shortly after it is morning and the sun will shine again!! Take those shackles off your feet and dance your way to the victory!!!

I love you guys!
Brenda

Acts 16: 25-26
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open and everyone’s chains fell off.

Good Morning Beautiful Survivors!!

There are many seasons that we will all have to go through as we journey through life. Some of them are good and some of them are bad. I am convinced that God is in the midst of all of them with us. Nothing that we will ever go through is wasted; He is weaving everything together into a beautiful tapestry of our life. When we first look at it, it seems to be just a jumbled mess of confusion, but when we stand back and look at all that we have come through, it starts to make sense.

Of course, when we are right in the heat of the battle, it’s not fun. In fact, we might wonder what was the purpose in the first place. It is at this time, where our faith comes in. As I look back through the bible, and as I study it, I realize that not much that God does makes any sense at all to the human mind. That’s because his ways are higher than our ways and he has a plan that one day when we get to heaven, might make sense. But, for now, I will walk by faith and trust him completely, knowing that he is a good, good God. All of his promises are Yes and Amen!!! He wants nothing but good for his children. Yes, we live in a fallen world, but he still has everything under control. Not one sparrow will fall to the ground without him knowing it. He knows how many hairs are on your head, and he knows if you have hair or not. He knows your silent heart cry and why your pillow is soaked with tears in the late watches of the night. He knows how you miss that loved one. He knows how you want that wayward child to come back home and turn his life around. He knows that there is more month left over than money, and not only does he know, but he cares so deeply for you. He loves you so very much!! Yes, you!!!! If you were the only one in the whole wide world, he would have died on the cross for you alone!!!!

I have always said that when I get to heaven, I am going to ask Jesus about many things, but in reality, I know that when I behold him in all of his glory, all that I will be able to do is to fall at his feet in tears and worship him for who he is and for all that he has done for me. At that moment, I really doubt that all of these other things that seem so important, now, will really matter then. Just one moment in his presence, everything will be alright. I will be free at last!!!!

Which season of life are you in right now? Is it a wonderful and fun season? Are you newly married and enjoying every day with the love of your life? Are you a new parent, thrilled with that precious baby? Are you a parent of a teenager, and you are wondering if your frazzled nerves can make it one more day? Are you a teenager and wonder how you can get your parents to understand? Are you a grandparent, enjoying those grandbabies and recalling the same fun times spent not so long ago with your own children? Or, are you in the late season of your life? The winds of change have blown in and everything is a reflection of all that you love and remember from a lifetime of memories?

No matter which season of life you are in, you are not alone. You never have been from day one, and you will never will be. God has been with you all along the way; through the wedding, the divorce court, the hospital, the nursing home, the chemo, and yes at the gravesite of your dearest loved one. He knows and he cares so deeply. All of these seasons are leading you home, and Oh, what a day of rejoicing that will be! There will be no more sadness, sickness, loss of loved ones, death or tears. You will be home at last!! You will walk those streets of gold with your loved ones and Jesus Himself. He will welcome you with open arms and hug you tightly to his chest. You will know that all is well at last. Just one glorious day in heaven will be worth a lifetime of suffering in this life.

Do you have broken dreams in this season of your life? Do you feel hopeless, like things can never be mended? Take all of those broken pieces and offer them back up to God. Give him all of the burnt ashes and give him a sacrifice of praise. He will give you a gladness in your heart that the world cannot give you, and surely, cannot ever take away. He will take those ashes and restore back to you, your joy. He will give back to you everything the locust has eaten. In your weakness, he is your strength. In your fear, he is your peace. In your sickness, he is your healing. In your loss and grief, he is your restorer. No matter what you have been through, he will take all of the leftover fragments and weave it into the most beautiful tapestry of your life that will shine forth as pure gold.

Never give up Beautiful friend!!! God loves you so very much. He made you, and yes, he will carry you through every season of your life until your hair is white with old age. He will never leave you! Yes, weeping may endure for a night, but, Oh yes, JOY TRULY WILL COME IN THE MORNING!! JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE!!!

I love you guys!
Brenda

Isaiah 43:2
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shall not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

Good Evening Beautiful Survivors!

Yes, so many of us know those words, “You Have Cancer” all too well. It’s hard to believe that those three small words have such an impact on us that they will change the rest of our lives forever. Those words cut like a knife right through the very core of all that we believe about this beautiful life. It’s at this very moment that everything we have ever hoped for up until now seems to take a back seat to this terrible disease. Now, suddenly, all of the things that we thought were so important pale in comparison to the magnitude of the mountain in front of us. Cancer has a way of putting our priorities in their proper perspective. After all, in the whole scheme of things, was it really that important to run a little late in rush hour traffic? Or, did it matter that much, now, that I had to work a little late?

When my doctor sat down and looked me straight in the eye, and told me that I had cancer, I would have to say that it was one of my life’s defining moments that I will never forget. I was in total shock for quite some time. At first, I was just numb. I couldn’t believe that it was really happening. Life was going too good. I didn’t have time for this intrusion and to top it all off, I felt too good. How could I be sick? I knew it happened to other people, but I never thought it would happen to me.

The many thoughts that bombarded my mind at the very beginning were life draining. “How did I get this?” “What will happen to my family?” “How will I feel?” “What treatments do I have to go through?” “How will I cope?” “Has the cancer spread?” and the final question, “Will I die?” Those thoughts went on day and night for quite some time, until I realized that they were harder on me than the cancer itself.

It was hard to believe that the sun could keep coming up each day when my own world had become so dark. How could life keep on going all around me when my own world and everything that I had hoped for came crashing down? Yes, life did go on. There were still bills to pay, work to do, kids to raise and the lists went on and on.

It was then that I realized that as long as I was still alive and my heart was still beating, that God had a purpose for my life, pain and all. He could take the broken and make it beautiful again. No, it wasn’t easy and I had many hurdles to jump, especially in the beginning. I’m not going to lie. It wasn’t pretty at first. It was downright hard in every way; but I noticed that as I kept walking through this heartache, the steps that were at first so heavy, became lighter along the way. At first, it wasn’t so noticeable. It was just subtle small steps, but I suppose it was mostly because I quit carrying the burden on my own and handed it over to the one who carried me for awhile, until I found the strength to stand on my own once again. It was kind of like a loving parent when their child first learns to walk. They are lovingly cheering that child on with a smile as that baby crawls, and stands, and finally takes that first step. That parent is standing there with outstretched arms to embrace that child as they run to them. That is what God does for us. He is smiling at us and cheering us on because he knows when we decide to place it in his hands, he is able to bring us safely through. He promises us that when we come to him that his yoke is easy and his burden is light.

Isn’t it amazing that when life is about as hard as it can get, that God shows up right on time when we need him the most? Even after having cancer, life goes on. It has been ten years since my diagnosis, but I still have days that can be extremely challenging. I guess that’s just life. It’s during those crazy, hectic days when I get so tired and feel like I can’t go on, Jesus steps in and tells me not to worry. He tells me that the reason it seems so hard is that I’m trying to do it on my own and that has never been his plan from the very beginning. He tells me, ” Now, wait just a minute here, Daughter! I’ve got this! I’ve got you in the palm of my hands. I will never leave you. Don’t try to carry this on your own. Once you hand it over to me, you will find strength rising once again, because when you are weak, I am strong in you.”

So, Beautiful Survivors and Caregivers, this is a word for you tonight. God has you in the palm of his mighty hands. Nothing is too hard for him. He is able!! He will lift you up. Learn to sit at his feet and bask in his love. He will give you a fresh supply of strength with each sunrise. He will refresh and restore you one day at a time.

Enjoy the beauty of each new day with the dawning of every morning. Live your life to the fullest. Take it all in. Enjoy every moment and surround yourself with the love of family and friends. Look for signs of God’s beauty. It’s all around you. Never give up! Live with passion and enthusiasm. Put a spring in each step and be free with your hugs and your smiles. Lavish others with them and don’t die until you live!!!

YES, LIFE DOES GO ON!!!!

I love you guys!
Brenda