Happy New Year Everyone!!

Yes, it’s a brand new year! A fresh start, a new beginning! We might call it a do over!!!

I don’t know about you, but I am going to start this year out right! Not everyone has another chance, but, I want to tell you that if God woke you up this morning, He still isn’t finished with you. You still have a purpose. If you still have breath in your lungs, God has a plan for your life!

I have already purposed in my heart, that I am not going to go into this new year living apathetic, just trudging along, and taking one single moment of this beautiful life for granted. I refuse to live with a negative attitude, NO MATTER WHAT anyone says, or the world events and the news dictate and predict for my future! My God is big enough to handle anything that comes my way! I am going into this new year with anticipation of all that God is going to do in my life this year, and you should too!!

In case you might have forgotten, I am here to remind you how much God loves you. Yeah, I know you’ve been through a lot. I know you’ve even wondered if you would make it, but just look at you now! You’re still here! What tried to kill you has only made you stronger!! Yes, you are coming through this, and Oh! What a testimony you are going to have!!! Get your hopes up!!! Get excited about all the good things that God is going to do in this new year!!

IT’S NOT OVER UNTIL GOD SAYS IT’S OVER!!!

So get your beautiful self up and know that your God loves you and that He is fighting for you!!! You are coming through the fire and you won’t even smell like smoke!!!!

What a wonderful, loving and merciful God we have, Who loves us so much and His compassions and mercies are new every morning!!! He will give you beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning! He is doing a NEW thing!!!

2019 is going to be AWESOME!!!!

I love you guys!
Brenda

Here it is Thanksgiving, and what a great time we had planned! Sarah bought the turkey. We had twenty five people invited to her house for Thanksgiving. Each one of us was to bring something to contribute to the dinner. It may be loud and crazy at times, but we all love to get together and celebrate the holidays. When it comes to entertaining, Sarah has the knack. There is something special about her house and the love that is exchanged there that brings so much joy to all who visit.

Well….this year has been a bit different. Sarah just recently found out that she was expecting baby number five. She was looking and feeling great and she was ecstatic about the addition of another child to the family. Frankly, I’ve never seen her happier! Most people would be scared to death at such an undertaking, but when it comes to mothering, there is nothing that Sarah loves more. Sarah and Chuck have a great marriage and the thought of adding another baby to the family just made them happier!

Two days before Thanksgiving, Sarah started spotting. She went to the emergency room and they did the necessary bloodwork, and an ultrasound and showed her the baby, but they couldn’t find the heartbeat. They said that maybe it was too soon to hear it yet. She was to come back the following morning to do more bloodwork. All the time, she continued to spot. We prayed, and prayed! Friends prayed from far and near around the clock to lay hold of our faith in the God we all know and believe Who hears and answers prayer. On Wednesday morning, Sarah called me in tears, crying her heart out, “Mom, I’ve lost my baby!”

What does a mother say to her daughter about something like this? I’ve always been there to put a band-aid on all of her boo boos, but this time was different. This time, a simple band-aid won’t mend the deep wound that she is carrying from the inside out. Only a mother could understand the depth of such a loss, an emptiness, the loss of a child growing inside of your own body, so close to your heart and soul.

Of course, we cancelled the dinner. Sarah needed to rest, Now, here it is the day after Thanksgiving, and she has Strep Throat. She will get through this, and yes, I’m almost positive that there will be more babies, but what about today? How do you get through such trying times?

What about you? What do you do when life just doesn’t make sense? When you’ve prayed, served, loved, and believed the bible and had a faith in a God, Who, at this time, no matter how hard you want to hold onto your faith, seems a million miles away?

What do you do when everything was going perfect, so perfect, that it almost seemed too good to be true? You had to pinch yourself to really see if it was happening or if you were just dreaming? Then, all of a sudden, the bottom falls out! The crisis hit and shakes you to your knees! The life, as you’ve always known it, has shifted, and you wonder how you could ever recover from such a loss!!

Maybe, your spouse, the love of your life, has just passed away. It was such a shock! There was no warning. It took you completely unaware. You had so many wonderful plans for your future and believed you would grow old together.

Maybe your child, who has been battling depression and bullying, and drug addictions, decided to take his or her own life.

Maybe your home that you have loved and lived in for many years was just foreclosed on. The money was just not there when you needed it.

Or maybe, you’ve been hit with the devastating news of a cancer diagnosis, or some other illness. How will you come through this one?

Where is God in all of this? What do you do when God doesn’t make sense?
Didn’t He hear all of the prayers? Didn’t He see you pacing the floors at night?!
Didn’t He hear the cry of your heart and see the tears rolling off of your cheeks and dripping off onto your pillow?

As I’ve been through some hard times of my own, I’ve been pondering over these same thoughts and questions and I wanted to be very candid and real with you. Because I speak mainly of hope and encouragement, and I truly believe that a positive attitude is crucial, I want you to know that it’s not always perfectly peachy and rosy with me either. I’m not speaking to you from one who has never suffered loss. I know what it means to be faced with a cancer diagnosis, and many other problems in this life, but I have found comfort in my God, and I want to share that same comfort with you.

First of all, God does love you and He loves those that you love. In fact, He loves them even more than you do. He is not a mean God. He never sends bad things on His children. He cares so very much. I love in the bible, where it says that He even wept when Lazarus died. Can you imagine that?! The God of the universe wept at the death of His beloved friend! He knew He had the power to raise Lazarus from the dead, but He still wept. I believe, because, He cared so much about all those who were weeping. He is your greatest friend, during the hardest times of your life. He is your Comforter. Run TO Him in these hard times, instead of running away FROM Him. He can comfort you like no other one can. This is the time that our faith really must kick in and we need to cling to it all the more. In the hard times, when we don’t understand, we must hold onto our faith and never let it go! There are some things in this life that will never make sense and they never will until we see Jesus face to face, but I have a feeling, that then, it won’t matter any longer, because, then, everything will be okay. You see, God sees the whole picture. He sees things that we could never grasp in our finite minds. Right now, we must come to Him as a little child, and simply believe. We must relinquish everything to Him and let all of our questions and concerns slip through our grasp, and let them go. He will carry you through these hard times. It is a choice that each one of us is faced with. Are we going to get angry at God, and become bitter at life and everyone in it, until it is like a poison flowing onto us and consuming everyone we know?

Or are we going to give it all to Jesus, the One Who knows us and loves us during life’s most challenging times? He knows it won’t be easy, but He asks you to trust Him, and He will see you through, one day at a time, until that final day when He will wipe away every tear. He is a good, good, God, Who is full of joy, peace, and love. He can restore you once again, and give you beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning. Run to Him today. Sit on His lap. Tell Him what you feel, and let Him hold you close to His heart. He longs to hold you and to restore you once again, one day at a time. He said He will never leave you, or forsake you. Even though nothing makes sense, never doubt His word. He is in control and He never goes back on His word. Get it deep in your heart today, because it is life to your soul!!

Pray for an unshakable trust that will sustain you in life’s most challenging times. God’s mercies never fail. They are new every morning. He is compassionate to all He has made and He is a faithful God, Who never goes back on His word. One day everything will make sense, but I’m asking you, today, to do what I am going to do. Trust your God. He loves you so much and He will never ask you to walk through anything alone. Read your bible for yourself, and ask God to open up His word to you. Read it and then, believe it. It is medicine to the soul and the answer to every problem that you will ever face in this life.

What I loved most about the story of Lazarus in the bible, is at the end, when Jesus, told the people to take off the grave clothes and let him go. We can apply that same teaching to our lives as well. Maybe you’ve been in a prison of your own for quite some time. You’ve been angry at God, and everyone else. You’ve been in depression that you feel you could never be set free from. It’s time, now, for you too, as well, to take off the grave clothes, the anger, depression and bitterness, all of the weights that have been pulling you down for so long. It’s time to give God all of the unanswered questions and simply trust Him, even in all of this. This is when you will see healing come and you will be set free to live the life that He so earnestly wants to give you!

John 11: 33-35
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him, he asked?” he asked. “Come and see Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept.

John 11: 43
When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

I truly believe the purest form of worship is unplanned worship, when the words come naturally and the tears flow freely. When we worship God in our darkest moments, even when nothing around us is okay, it’s that SACRIFICE of praise that sends Him a loud message that really grabs His attention. When we put our trust in Him and fully love, adore, and worship Him, just for Who He is, that’s when He moves on our behalf.

When you can bow down to worship Him, even at the lowest point of your life; when that loved one dies, the medical report isn’t good, your spouse walks out on you, your rebellious teen shakes his fist at you, the money isn’t there………
When all is lost and you have nothing to be thankful for; you have nothing to lose and you surely have nothing to give…….EXCEPT A BROKEN HALLELUJAH!

God sees that tired hand reaching up to Him. He sees those tears rolling down your cheeks, and dripping off of your face; those tears that won’t stop coming, no matter how hard you try to hold them back.

God not only sees your tears, but He is holding them all in a bottle. He is aware of every tear that you have ever shed. He knows you so well that He has even numbered every hair on your head. He knows that you love Him and that you are putting your full trust in Him, when your world is falling apart. He is right there at that very moment to lift you up out of your pit of despair and break the shackles off of you that are trying to hold you back from fully worshipping Him and receiving all that He has for you.

It’s at that moment, when you can give a shout of praise in the weakest, shakiest voice, when you least feel like it, EVEN IN THIS, that God ushers you directly into the Holy of Holies; into the very presence of God. His Glory falls and you know that you are not alone. All is well. You have the Armies of heaven fighting on your behalf.

If you can keep the word of God in your mouth, a song of praise on your lips, and a heart full of worship, you will see the Victory, no matter what you are going through. Your most heartfelt prayers and your praise move the hand of Almighty God. You only have to be still and wait on the deliverance of the Lord. No weapon formed against you will prosper. Your victory is in sight!!!!

Keep praising, and worshipping right smack in the middle of your Midnight Hour, because God inhabits the praises of His people and He stands ready to deliver you! I can hear the chains falling off right now!!!!!!

I’ve always loved the old hymn, “There’s Power in the Blood”, but never has its words been more real than when I visited the Holy Land Experience in Orlando, Florida several years ago.

As I walked through the life of Christ exhibit, the one that really caught my attention was the crucifixion. I’ve seen these type of exhibits before, but this one was exceptionally different. It looked so real and as Jesus hung on the cross, it showed how his blood flowed freely and it NEVER STOPPED FLOWING DOWN! It flowed continuously until it flooded everything around it. There was a spirit of reverence that set in deep inside my heart. As I pondered over this awesome, amazing love that Jesus had for me alone, I was moved to tears at how he could do this for me! I wanted to do nothing more than to kneel down, lie prostate on the ground before him and bathe his nail scarred feet with my tears! Oh such furious love!!! I went away that day with the realization of all that the blood of Jesus covers. If I had from here to eternity, to record all that this precious blood does, there could never be enough words to describe it in its entirety.

Sometimes, we fail to realize all that the blood implies. As each nail was driven deep into the very flesh of God’s own son, Jesus cried out, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do!” There is resurrection power in the blood! Everything that comes into contact with it is made alive again! Nothing dead can remain, once touched by this blood. This blood runs deep, flows full and free and covers everything in its path and never stops! There is plenty for everyone to jump in and cleanse away anything and everything that needs cleansed.

God, in his tender mercies and compassion, knew this was the only way that he could make a way for us to enter in to everything that he has made available to us.

In this precious blood, there is forgiveness of sins and cleansing, healing of all diseases, salvation to enter in to his very presence and come boldly before his throne, making our requests known to him. There is provision in our lack, restoration to all that the enemy has stolen, freedom from sin, worry, sorrow, depression, thoughts of suicide, and fear. There is joy unspeakable and full of glory! And even more, if that is not enough, we have the assurance of walking the golden streets with him for all of eternity.

What he did on Calvary was for you today. He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Let him wash you in his powerful, precious blood today. Everything that concerns you will be made whole by just one drop of his precious, powerful, and holy blood!

Whatever you are going through today, reach out for his nail-scarred hand. It’s through these very holes in his hands and feet that you will be consumed by the dazzling brilliance of his glory, You will see your reflection in them as you realize that he sees only you, the one he died for.
Soar high beautiful friend, as you know the vast, limitless love of Almighty God!!!

I love you guys!
Brenda

Most of us are familiar with the story of the Israelites in the Old Testament. There are many lessons that we can learn from the Israelites as they crossed through the wilderness into their Promised Land. It wasn’t an easy journey. It was long, hot, and arduous. They started out good at first. They were so excited to leave the days of toiling and slavery in Egypt and could hardly wait to get to the Promised Land that Moses told them about. They witnessed, firsthand, all of the miracles that God performed right before their eyes. They never dreamed that it would be as difficult a journey as it turned out to be. They saw with their own eyes how God parted the Red Sea and led them safely through, while the Egyptians were killed as they chased after them.

But the days turned into weeks; the weeks turned into months and eventually years. They grew tired and weary and some of them lost their way and their very lives because of their bad attitudes and disobedience. They started grumbling and complaining. They began to doubt that Moses was right in leading them and they doubted God and His plan to deliver them from their bondages. There were times that they even wished they had never left Egypt. Can you imagine being so unhappy that they were willing to return to the bondages that God was trying to deliver them from? Their constant complaining and murmuring angered God and prolonged their journey even more. What should have taken eleven days ended up as a forty year journey through the rugged wilderness. And We think we have problems!

God provided them with everything that they needed. He provided fresh manna, the bread from heaven, for them for each new day for forty years. When they finally reached Canaan, their destination, the Promised land, the manna stopped, but not a day before. This also tells me that God met their every need. He even made water come from a rock to satisfy their thirst. He even manifested His very own presence with them everywhere they went. He led them by a pillar of a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night to prove to them that He was still in control and to let them know that He was with them and bringing them safely through. He even met every need, because their clothes and shoes did not get worn out, and their feet never got a single blister.

Although, God got angry, as soon as they were sorry and repented, He forgave them.

As I think about it, we are so much like the Israelites today. We complain over the silliest things. We complain about the weather, the food we eat, our neighbors, family members, jobs, our country…. you name it; it’s so easy to get into a habit of complaining just to hear ourselves complain. Not only do we complain, but we worry. We fail to trust God. Sometimes the bondages that we find ourselves in are self inflicted. We cause so many of them ourselves; like overeating, overspending, gossiping, complaining, negativity, poor health choices and you name it, they are there!

But one thing that I have learned from this story is that our God is faithful. He loves us so much and He is always waiting with outstretched arms to take us back in, to forgive us and to give us yet another chance. He is our provider of every need. He wants us to take one day at a time as we rely on him for each day’s new strength. Just like he only gave the manna one day at a time, He says not to worry about tomorrow, but that He will provide everything we need as we face each new day. He will give us a fresh supply of strength every morning. As you lay down to sleep tonight, take off your cares with your clothes. Give them all to Him and just you wait and see! Your sleep will be sweet and tomorrow when you wake up, your strength will rise with the sun! If you hold on and do not become weary in well doing, God will manifest His presence to you, too, just like He did for the Israelites and there will not be a single need that He will not meet! He has a fresh supply of manna for you today. It’s called grace, mercy, peace, provision, comfort, forgiveness, salvation, and life itself! Your God is a generous God and He longs to shower you with heaven’s richest blessings!!!

Psalm 78: 24-25
He rained down manna upon them to eat and gave them food from heaven. Man did eat the bread of angels; He sent them food in abundance.

It’s hard to believe that another year has gone by so fast! Where does the time go?! Now, I’m starting to sound like my parents did so many years ago, when I wondered what they meant. Back then, time seemed to drag by ever so slow. You know how it is when you are in your teenage years. You can’t wait to be old enough to drive, date, get your first job and all of the other things you have on your list of essentials to growing up. It seems like once you finally cross each goal that you accomplish, one at a time, off of the list, you find yourself saying as I am saying, today, Where does the time go?!”

Well, here I am, many years later. Today is my birthday. This year it’s not just any birthday. This is a big one, because I turned 60 this year. For some reason, growing older has never really bothered me until this year. I think getting my Golden Buckeye card in the mail kind of had something to do with it. And if that’s not bad enough, there is hardly a day that goes by that I don’t receive a notice in the mail from a nursing home, inviting me not to work there, but to live there! Worse yet, I get dozens of advertisements urging me to plan my funeral in advance. The other day, I received a notice in the mail to attend a seminar on how to live with Osteoporosis and back pain. Thank goodness, I wasn’t able to fit it into my schedule because I was too busy working out and walking on my treadmill. I have news for them! I am not going down without a fight!

I’ve done a lot of pondering over this whole aging process and I’ve come to the conclusion that there is an art to aging gracefully. It really can be done. Age is just a number and you can’t listen to what the world says about you. You have to take it with a grain of salt and smile as you remember what God says about you. He calls you blessed. He says you will flourish as you age. You will still bear fruit in old age. Psalm 103:5 says, God satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. We can learn a lot from the Proverbs 31 woman. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. See, we really can age gracefully and we can even laugh as we are doing it!

This morning as I was on my way to church, I turned my radio on and listened to Sunday praise music. One of my favorite hymns came on the radio, “In the ‘Garden.” I’ve loved that song since I was a little girl. Isn’t that just like God to bless us with everything that makes our heart sing?! As I was singing those precious words,
” He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own, and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.” His love just flooded my soul on this sunny morning! God and I had a little talk on my way to church, and it changed my entire perspective. First off, I am an eleven year Thyroid cancer survivor. That in itself, is a reason to not worry about age. I’m just so thankful and blessed to be here! God gave me a whole new outlook today. I realized something that is so true. My eyes were opened to the reality of something that I’ve often overlooked over the years. Do you know how when it’s your birthday, you always feel special?! It’s your own special day, created just for you?! It’s because God and all of heaven is celebrating you on your birthday. God says he knew you when you were still in your mother’s womb. He knew you before you were ever born. He knew you before one of your days ever came to be. The day you were born, God celebrated you!!! He rejoiced over you with singing! Every birthday that you will ever have, God and all of heaven will be celebrating you! He will be with you throughout your lifetime. He will never leave you or forsake you. From the moment you take your first breath until your very last, He is with you for all of your days! When you breathe your last breath here and you take your first breath in heaven, He is there to take you by the hand and lead you home. You can never get out of His presence. He will be with you now all of your days and throughout every day of your life. He not only celebrates your birthdays, He celebrates you every day. Even if no one else in this whole wide world celebrates you, He will love you every step of the way. You can never get away from His furious love. You are His prized possession. You are beautiful in His eyes! Just like the song says, “He is the God of all your days!”

Isaiah 46:4
Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.

With all this in mind, today, I want to urge you to never waste a single moment worrying about your age. Give your days to God. He will sustain you and satisfy you with His favor and all of life’s richest treasures, including a light and merry heart. Enjoy every moment, drink it all in, hug your loved ones. Laugh, love, eat, drink, and savor every last drop of this crazy, over the top, BEAUTIFUL life!!!!

I love you guys!
Brenda

This is for that one who has been hitting the floor with your knees and crying out to God. There is something on your heart that you just need to have an answer. You need a miracle. You have done everything you know to do. You have prayed, believed, tithed, and served, but you still feel like your prayers have fallen on deaf ears.

You are walking in the dark and all you need is a flicker of light to see the next step. This is the time that your faith must stand strong in the heat of the battle. Dig your heels in and declare that you will never give up! You will keep believing, hoping, praying, praising and walking in faith until you see the victory. Be steadfast in prayer and stand on God’s word. It is your greatest weapon and know that God is not shaken. He knows what is going on and He is working behind the scenes. His timing is always perfect. It shall surely come to pass.

This is the turning point and determines the outcome of your situation. The battle is raging all around you and you must choose to trust God, EVEN IF things don’t turn out like you had planned. The cancer is still there. The treatment hasn’t worked, but you have a word from God. You must stand on his promises and speak them over your situation. Your child hasn’t come home, your spouse has left, the rent money is due and the check hasn’t arrived yet.

No matter what you are going through, God is still able. Stand on His word and believe that He is working all things together for your good. He is closer than your next breath. He has never left your side and He never will. He will bring you safely through. Slip your hand in His nail scarred hand, and He will lead you ever so gently. You are not alone and He is working behind the scenes in the midst of all that concerns you.

I love you guys!
Brenda

Good Morning Beautiful Survivors!

There’s a lot of hate going around these days! All you have to do is to read the morning newspaper or turn on the news for just a few minutes to realize it. People are lashing out at everyone they can from every direction. I can’t stand to listen to it, because it just brings my spirit down. It’s one thing to be informed of what is happening in the world to an extent, but quite another to allow it to permeate into our own thoughts. Whether we realize it or not, it is damaging to our health, emotions and spirit. I refuse to allow such garbage to invade my mind.

As much talk of hate we hear these days, there is still much talk of love. Love can be a very complicated word if we don’t look at it right. It’s easy to confuse love with emotions. A good example of this is that 15 year old boy with his first crush. He is out with the cutest girl in town and he gives her his ring and he tells her he loves her, on their first date!! That’s so cute, or so it seems, but these young people have a lot to learn about the true definition of love. Give them ten or fifteen years down the road and see if they still feel that way. Love is going out at 3 am to get Tylenol for a teething baby, and walking the floors at night to soothe them and still getting up at 6 am to go to work. Love is putting up with those screaming, and sometimes, defiant teenagers and their crazy music, when you’d like to strangle them. (Not really) But, I’m sure that every honest parent must admit that they have thought about it at least once in their life. Love is taking care of your spouse when they are suffering with Alzheimer’s, bringing them roses and spending time with them, even when they don’t know who you are. Yes, love is a powerful word! One not to be taken lightly!

Even though true love is wonderful, there is another kind of love that cannot compare to any other type of love. It is God’s love. It will go on forever, no matter what! Several years ago, I had a revelation of just how powerful God’s love really is. I had been going through a rough time and I was extremely grouchy. I was angry and I remember how separated from God that I felt. The next morning, as I lay in my bed, talking to God, I said, “Lord, I’ve really blown it this time! I suppose things could never be the same between us again. I don’t deserve your love.” And, just so plain, I heard God say to me, “My ardor never cools.” I didn’t even know what ardor meant, so it had to be him! I looked it up. I was amazed at what I saw. Ardor is passion. Fiery love, deep emotion. Wow!! I realized that no matter what I ever did, God still loved me the same as before. I could not get away from his furious love!! I may have left him for a minute, but he certainly did not leave me! His love never fails!

Through Him, we live and breathe and have our being. He is the life blood that compels us on. He is our life and source of everything that we are and will ever hope to be!

What’s really neat is that God gives us his Agape love. This Agape love is the kind of love that is unselfish. It’s the kind of love that can bear up against all odds; even when nothing seems to be going our way at the moment. Agape love is a powerful love. It is God’s own love that covers everything. With Agape love, you are no longer led by your feelings. No weapon that is formed against you can penetrate this beautiful shield that God places around you. And the neatest thing of all is that the more you love others, the more God loves you!! You can’t lose!

Love never fails!

I love you guys!
Brenda

I will never forget hearing those words, “YOU HAVE CANCER!” What a shock! I was minding my own business, enjoying my life, when out of the blue, cancer rudely invaded my life. It’s everyone’s worst nightmare! It’s the three words no one ever wants to hear!

That first year was exhausting in every way. I had to go through many pre-op tests, including an EKG and a chest x-ray and numerous rounds of blood work before a seven hour operation to have my entire thyroid removed. A week later, I returned back to the doctor to hear the surgical pathology report. The cancer had spread into my lymph nodes. I was drained physically and emotionally from the surgery, but the next step was that I had to go on the low iodine diet to prepare me for the radioactive iodine treatment, After the treatment, I had to be isolated from my family for two weeks to prevent anyone from coming into contact with the radiation. I was extremely sick from the treatment. It was the weakest time of my life, and I was isolated from all friends and family, and it was Christmas time! After going through the treatment, I had to have my thyroid medication adjusted and readjusted numerous times and go back to the endocrinologist and oncologist every few months to make sure that the cancer was not returning. It was an arduous journey. My doctor told me that it usually takes a good year to recuperate from just the surgery, alone. As I look back, I will never know how I got through that first year, except by the hand of God. The famous Footprints poem came alive to me during that time and had more meaning than ever. I realized that God was carrying me when I couldn’t do it in my own strength. Once I reached the first year, little did I know that I would have to be prepared for the same protocol all over again, to help prevent a cancer recurrence. Talk about tired!!! Cancer is definitely not for wimps!!!

Well….I did make it through that first year and before I knew it, I had to go through the low iodine diet all over again and go off of my thyroid meds to become totally hypothyroid. I don’t know if you have ever had any thyroid trouble or not, but I will shout it to the whole world, “You really need your thyroid medicine!” I have never been so weak and tired in my life. I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. I was exhausted, gaining weight, and my mind was fuzzy. I couldn’t see well. I was pale. My eyes were puffy and I didn’t have the energy to barely pick one foot up in front of the other one. As I was drifting through this time to be prepared for the body scan, the scriptures came alive to me. Nothing else made sense, but now I know what the bible means when it says that when we are weak, He is strong. This is so very true.

As the day arrived for the body scan, they were preparing me for another treatment. They said it wasn’t unlikely for me to have a recurrence, because of the size of the tumors, my age, and that it had spread into my lymph nodes. I am very claustrophobic, so the nurses put a towel over my eyes as I lie there still in the body scan with my arms at my sides. I could hear the body scan ticking slowly as it started at my head, and, slowly, made its way down through my entire body. This is such a sobering experience, knowing that machine had the power to tell my destiny.

Something happened to me that day that I will never forget! God met me at my lowest moment in that body scan. His presence just enveloped me. I had been through this body scan a year prior and this was an entirely different experience. I saw the brightest light that I could never describe in human words, its brilliance. It was a dazzling light that just pierced through my entire being. It was as if every scripture came alive to me and just washed over my body, mind and spirit. The love of God came over me so strong and I had never felt such peace. It was as if God did something for me in that body scan that no doctor could have ever done. From that day on, I have never been the same since. I couldn’t even talk about it without crying for quite awhile, at just the awesome presence of God, as He reached down and touched me at the weakest moment of my life. That’s just Who He is! He is always a very present help in our times of trouble. He has changed my life completely and now, I can’t wait to share this same hope with everyone that I meet. As soon as the body scan ended, I was directed to a room to wait on the results of the body scan by the nuclear medicine doctor. Not long after, the doctor pointed up to my results. He said, “This is a perfectly clean scan! There is no sign of a recurrence anywhere in your body!” I already knew this to be true because of the dazzling light that was still such a part of me. How could it have been anything else?! I am so thankful that God met me there that day. I have been cancer free ever since. Our God surely is a healer!!!

Can you relate to this? Are you tired today? Do you wonder how you will have the strength to make it one more day? Don’t worry about tomorrow. Just try to get through today. When this day is over, God will give you a fresh new supply of strength for the next day when you need it. He will never fail you. God promises that if you will wait upon him, he will renew your strength. When you come to that place when God is the only answer, when you are flat on your back, the only way to look is up! Sometimes, you have to get alone with God. Just you and him. He will meet you there at your deepest need. You have to get alone with him until you’re not alone anymore. He is a personal God. He loves you so much and He wants to pour his healing balm of Gilead into your deepest wounds. He is not just the God of congregations, but of the individual.

He is never too far away to hear the faintest cry. Cry out to Him today. He is closer than you think.
Can you feel your strength rising? When you are weak, He is your strength. We’re talking about a big God. He is the God Who spreads out the northern skies over empty space, and suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the water in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it. He gives orders to the morning and shows dawn its place.

This God of ours can do it! Nothing is ever too hard for Him. He is your anchor of hope. He is faithful and true to His word. He is the light in the dark and healing for the broken heart. He is life and he is light. Rest tonight, my friend, because tomorrow is a brand new day. You will wake with renewed strength! This, you can count on!!! All of his promises are Yes and Amen. He is the Glory and Lifter of your head. He can carry you until you can stand on your own once again.

I love you guys!
Brenda

Psalm 84: 5-7
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the valley of Baca (tears) they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

Good Evening Beautiful Survivors! I have a chapter in my book, titled “The Midnight Hour.” Everyone will face a time like this at some point in their life. It’s a time in your life where you feel utterly hopeless. It could be for a number of reasons; an illness, a divorce, a financial crisis, family problems, and the list goes on and on. It is a time in your life when you need a miracle, or a touch from God.

Most of us are familiar with the story in the bible of Paul and Silas. They were thrown into prison for their faith. It was about midnight and they started worshipping and praising God. The other prisoners were listening to them. SUDDENLY, there was an earthquake and their chains fell off. Not only were they set free, but all of the prisoner’s chains fell off as well.

In this life, there are many types of chains. You can be in a silent prison of your own for many reasons. One of the ways to get free from these chains is to just start worshipping God. Praise your way to the victory. Just like the other prisoners who were watching Paul and Silas, many people are watching you. When your chains fall off, theirs will too. You will all be set free.

When I was going through my cancer journey, I was in a prison of fear and depression, but God stepped in and radically interrupted my life. He set me free from the fear and depression from the cancer and he filled me with his joy. Only God can take an ugly cancer diagnosis and turn it around for good. No matter what you are going through, God is able to turn it around. He can use your brokenness, which becomes your testimony, to help someone else.

If you are going through the most difficult time in your life and you feel hopeless, lean into God. He is closer than your next breath. He loves to set people free from whatever prison they are in. Start praising him even when it seems like the hardest thing to do; even when nothing makes sense. The key is praising God before you see the miracle. Make a choice to let nothing hold you back, even in the hardest of times. Praise right smack in the heat of the battle. Psalm 22:3 declares that God dwells in the praises of his people. When you choose to worship and praise God instead of grumbling, whining and complaining, you are actually entering into his very presence. Soon, it will come natural and you will start seeing the shackles fall off. You will be able to say that our God is a good, good God. Your dungeon of prison and the chains that bind you will be transformed into a sanctuary of praise. Lift those tired hands to heaven and praise your God and watch him lift your load and break every chain.

The Midnight Hour is the end of one day, but the beginning of another! The Midnight Hour may seem dark for a time, but shortly after it is morning and the sun will shine again!! Take those shackles off your feet and dance your way to the victory!!!

I love you guys!
Brenda

Acts 16: 25-26
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open and everyone’s chains fell off.